Deacon Cyrus Dolph IV, ordained to the diaconate Saturday, Oct. 5, at St. Bede, Williamsburg, is a family man.
He was surrounded on the occasion by his four adult children – Cy Dolph V, Katie Lewis, Peter Dolph, and Chester Dolph – and ten grandchildren, along with friends from his former parish, Blessed Sacrament, Norfolk. His wife, Mamie, died May 3, 2023, and in her absence, Deacon Dolph called the celebration “bittersweet.”
He first began to discern his vocation to the diaconate in 2012, and after earning a master’s in theology at St. Leo University, he was scheduled to be ordained with his cohort on Sept. 15, 2018. But in August of that year, his wife’s health began to decline.
“I didn’t want there to be any hesitation about who came first. I wanted to be certain I would always be there for Mamie, without any conflicts whatsoever, so I chose my marriage and asked for a postponement,” said Deacon Dolph. “I did not withdraw from the program.”
While priests marry the Church upon being ordained, deacons are commissioned to support the Church, and it is understood that in the cases of husbands and fathers, their primary duty is to their family.
“For a married deacon, marriage is going to be his first sacrament. His focus, as Cy showed, is his family,” said Deacon John Kren, director of the permanent diaconate in our diocese. “He’s such a wonderful man. So we said, when you’re ready, let us know.”
Deacon Dolph returned to formation in May of this year.
“In my married life with my wife, I see that she was the instrument of God’s grace for me,” said Deacon Dolph. “She was part of this journey of the diaconate. Our marriage was God’s grace. And I clearly made the right choice to step back so I could take care of her, and I thank God that I was given the health to be able to take care of her.”
Mamie was a lifelong Catholic, while Deacon Dolph was raised in the Episcopal church. For many years, he worked seven days a week in the legal field – but as he got older, he began spending more time in the pews of Blessed Sacrament with his family.
“When the Catechism of the Catholic Church was first published, I bought a copy of it and read it,” he said. Later, a friend suggested he read “Confessions” by St. Augustine – and when he found it on a bookshelf of a rental vacation home in the mountains a week later, he read it from cover to cover.
“I really felt the presence of the Holy Spirit that weekend,” said Deacon Dolph. “It wasn’t a coincidence, I don’t think. When I came back from that weekend, I said, ‘Now’s the time [to convert].’”
It wasn’t long after his confirmation that he was scheduled to serve as a lector at Blessed Sacrament, and his assigned reading was from Isaiah 6: “I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?’ ‘Here I am,’ I said, ‘send me.’”
Dan Schutte’s 1981 hymn quoting that passage was sung as Deacon Dolph accepted the offertory gifts from his two oldest grandchildren, Sean and Katie Lewis, as a newly ordained deacon Oct. 5.
Four-dimensional growth
Deacon Kren explained that when a man is approved by the Church to discern the diaconate, there are four dimensions that the Church seeks to train: the intellectual, spiritual, pastoral, and human dimensions.
“When I did academic formation, I studied with professors from St. Leo University, one weekend a month, for four years,” said Deacon Dolph. He earned his master’s degree in theology in 2017.
In the spiritual dimension, Deacon Dolph was drawn to the spirituality of St. Ignatius of Loyola. He completed a five-day silent retreat in 2018, directed by Jesuit Father Lucien Longtin. He made another retreat in late May after re-entering the diaconate program.
A five-day silent retreat prior to ordination to the diaconate is required by canon law. “It’s a period of deep reflection. In silence, you really get the opportunity to listen,” said Deacon Dolph.
Father Longtin, said Deacon Dolph, was a continual source of support during the five years in which he stepped away from the program to care for his wife.
The spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius are meditations, contemplations and prayers written by the saint, designed to be carried out over a period of 30 days in silent retreat. The “19th annotation” is a version of the exercises designed to be performed in daily life over the course of 32 weeks, requiring up to two hours a day of prayer and meditation.
“During that period, Father Lucien knew how ill my wife was, and he was such a great help to me during that period, and a big help in my decision to go forward,” said Deacon Dolph.
As for the pastoral dimension, Deacon Kren said, “We work with the candidate, with his parish and parish priest, his mentors, to develop a sense of pastoral commitment to the parish.”
In the case of Deacon Dolph, the warm embrace of St. Bede made his placement there a perfect fit.
“There has been an overwhelming outpouring of support from … the parish and from Father Ayers,” said Deacon Dolph. “It’s unbelievable how welcoming the parish has been to me.”
In the dimension of personal growth, Deacon Dolph says he hopes his experience with Mamie will allow him to help others experiencing a similar tragedy.
“The bereavement ministry is where I belong,” he said. “Until you’ve been through what I’ve been through, it is very difficult to understand.”
Blessings
The ordination Mass was celebrated by Bishop Barry C. Knestout. Deacon Dolph promised obedience to the bishop and his successors, and lay prostrate before the altar during the Litany of Supplication. Then, Bishop Knestout laid his hands on the head of Deacon Dolph, ordaining him to the diaconate.
As a newly ordained deacon, Deacon Dolph was vested with the stole and dalmatic, then received the Book of the Gospels from the bishop and a fraternal kiss of peace from each of his brother deacons. Immediately after, he served at the altar with Bishop Knestout during the Liturgy of the Eucharist.
The Mass was concelebrated by many priests, including St. Bede pastor Father Eric Ayers and Father Timothy Kuhneman, vicar for clergy.
Before the solemn blessing and dismissal, the choir sang Schubert’s Ave Maria, and Deacon Dolph closed his eyes, clearly experiencing a profound wave of emotion.
“We had the Ave Maria at our wedding, and at Mamie’s funeral Mass,” he said.
At the conclusion of Mass, a special prayer for the new deacon was among the prayers of the solemn blessing.
“May he, who has entrusted you with preaching the Gospel of Christ, help you, as you live according to this Word, to be its sincere and fervent witness,” said the bishop.
Immediately after processing out behind clouds of incense, “O God Beyond All Praising” echoing from the rafters, Deacon Dolph returned to the sanctuary, found his family, and embraced them.
See more pictures from the ordination of Deacon Cy Dolph IV.