Deacon David Nemetz has served St. Michael, Glen Allen, for 25 years
As he approached his silver jubilee on Tuesday, Dec. 6, Deacon David Nemetz said he still has a hard time believing that it was all “God’s plan.”
“I never dreamed that I would be in a position where I can help people become what they’re supposed to become,” he said. “So that’s very humbling from a faith standpoint. The fact that you have this tremendous opportunity and responsibility to try to maximize the amount of gifts that are in front of you.”
Deacon Nemetz said empowering people is a huge part of what he has learned to do over 25 years.
“It’s about giving them the confidence to be out of their comfort zone. It’s about trying to do the collective good for the community and for the Church, and if you do that well, then you’re really not needed,” he said. “So you started it, you managed it, you maintained it, and then you were able to get out of the way and let God take over.”
Ministry ‘rooted in marriage’
Deacon Nemetz was ordained to the permanent diaconate on Dec. 6, 1997, by Bishop Walter F. Sullivan. His entire diaconal ministry has been at St. Michael the Archangel, Glen Allen.
He said that his ministry “really is rooted in (his) marriage” to his wife of 43 years, Karen. If it had not been for her “generosity” and “willingness to share her husband with the Church,” he said he would not have been formed at all.
He and Karen met in 1977 when he was a student at St. John Vianney Minor Seminary in Richmond. They were married at Our Lady of Lourdes, Richmond, in 1979, and they share three children and eight grandchildren.
Deacon Nemetz said St. John Vianney was “a great escape” from his home life, where he was growing up in a rough neighborhood. He said that the nine months of the year that he lived at the seminary provided a “transformation” and a window into “a whole world that you would have never been exposed to.”
He graduated in 1978 when the seminary was closed. He became a carpenter and had his own business.
Deacon Nemetz worked in carpentry until 15 years ago, when Father Dan Brady, pastor of St. Michael, asked him to consider working for the parish full time.
After some hesitancy and a discussion with Karen, he accepted the position.
As pastoral associate at St. Michael, the deacon is responsible for the pastoral care of over 30 ministries, parish life and human concerns.
Deacon Nemetz said that he helps coordinate twinning ministries with other parishes, funeral ministries and other parish activities, which involves organizing, providing resources, creating a budget, placing items on the calendar and ensuring accountability.
“I would say the biggest joy of that is watching the gifts of the people, given the opportunity and an environment that’s healthy, and watching them grow. That’s what I get to do more than anything else,” he said.
He also does pastoral counseling, which he said is “described as a firehouse mentality.”
“When something is on fire, you sit with a person for an hour to an hour and a half. You’re not the end result; you’re just supposed to be there, so they know somebody at the church cares and loves them,” he said.
In addition to preaching at Mass occasionally, he also helps meet the sacramental needs of parishioners by performing baptisms, witnessing marriages and conducting memorial services.
Growing with the parish
As St. Michael was being formed in 1992, parishioners used to gather at Short Pump Middle School and a Methodist church for Mass.
From the first weekend, Deacon Nemetz helped set up the worship space before Mass and break it down afterward. At the request of the founding pastor, his participation with the parish increased.
“Even though I hadn’t been overly involved in other churches, this was a new beginning of a church, and it was really exciting to get involved early on,” said Deacon Nemetz.
As the parish grew and the need for sacramental help became apparent, Deacon Nemetz was asked by the pastor to consider becoming a deacon.
He received formation through a variety of institutions. His main formation was earning a certificate from the three-year LIMEX (Loyola Institute for Ministry Extension) Program from Loyola University in New Orleans.
“I was required by the Diocese of Richmond to do everything that the master’s people were doing. I had to write all the papers, even though I wasn’t required (to do it) for the certificate program,” he said, noting that he did not participate in the master’s program because he had not done any undergraduate studies. “So by the end of the program, I did everything that they did, except for the last one because I was already ordained and working at that point.”
He also went to Cincinnati for a week each year for five years for homiletics work, studied Scripture at Notre Dame during the summers, and was involved in a youth ministry program in New Jersey.
“It was a challenge initially, but it was definitely worth it because for the first time in a long time, I was challenged in a lot of different ways,” he said.
Leading by example
Deacon Nemetz was part of the formation team for the class of permanent deacons that followed him.
“It was a lot of fun for me because I got to technically go through their formation,” he said, noting that he heard the speakers who flew in from St. Meinrad Seminary in Indiana or other places. “It wasn’t like a whole other formation, but I certainly gained a lot of insight with them from those classes.”
He led the candidates in morning prayer, and also set up chairs, took out the trash and served lunch to help them “understand that that’s the role of the deacon.”
“I intentionally, purposely, tried to lead by example by saying no one is more important than the next task and there’s no job we shouldn’t do, no matter what it was,” he said.
Although he has not mentored any permanent deacons who were ordained after him, Deacon Nemetz said he feels he has been able to model “being present” for those who have considered the ministry.
“I just think having somebody to go forward so that all of a sudden (being a deacon) becomes an option for other people. I think that was more of it,” he said. “Now they had seen a deacon, (and said) ‘I wonder what he’s about. I wonder what he does. Gosh, I might be interested in doing that.’”
Connection with parishioners
The parish community at St. Michael has been an important part of Deacon Nemetz’s service because they allowed him to grow into himself as a deacon.
He said for the first 10 years, he “was able to hide away from the church and still work,” just coming to the parish when the pastor needed him.
“When I first started, I didn’t feel worthy to do this. I couldn’t keep my head raised up and look at people because I had never been in public, I had never spoken in public, I had never read in public,” he said. “And our community was so gracious in the sense of how they treated me because they knew that it was extremely difficult for me to do those things publicly.”
When he accepted the full-time pastoral associate position, things began to change because he was called to serve more often.
After 25 years, Deacon Nemetz has experienced “a nice, slow, steady growth” of becoming comfortable with the parishioners because they know each other’s stories.
“Everybody knows who we’re dealing with, and we’re still called to live out the Gospel. They’ve allowed me to challenge them to do that,” he said. “And once you get away from the ‘This is about me challenging you’ to ‘This is the Gospel challenging us,’ it all made sense.”
To mark his silver jubilee, Deacon Nemetz preached at all five Masses during the weekend of Dec. 4 – something he said he never requests to do – to “take time to reflect on the 25 years with the congregation.”
“I want to thank them for the 25 years, for what they’ve meant to me and my family,” he said.