Question: I have not gone to confession in years, and I’m anxious about it. Will the priest be angry with me? (Ohio)
Answer: Most priests will be happy to welcome you back to the sacrament, and not angry at all. You finally making it to confession is what is important. The priest asks how long it has been since your last confession only to gain some context, so he can better understand your situation and thus counsel you more effectively.
If you are nervous, there are practical ways you can find a confessional situation with which you are most comfortable. If you feel like you need to just dive in and talk, you can simply go to your parish at the normally scheduled time for confessions which are typically found in the parish bulletin or on its website. But if there is a specific local priest whom you think would be an especially gentle confessor, it’s fine to reach out to him directly and ask to make an appointment.
On the other hand, if you want your confession to be as anonymous as possible, you can go to a parish other than your own, even one in another town. If you have a shrine or pilgrimage site within driving distance, these places will often offer confessions as well, with priests you’re unlikely to run into in your day-to-day life.
You may find it useful to review the process of the sacrament of reconciliation and its prayers ahead of time. Know, however, that if you get flustered in the reconciliation room, you can ask the priest-confessor to remind you of what to do. Many reconciliation rooms even provide printed copies of the Act of Contrition.
As you prepare for your confession, it might be helpful to read and reflect on the parables in chapter
15 of Luke’s Gospel, all of which illustrate the joy God takes in those who repent and return to him. These include the parable of the lost sheep, the prodigal son, and the woman who rejoices over finding a lost coin.
Jesus concludes the parable of the lost coin by saying: “In just the same way, I tell you, there will be rejoicing among the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (Lk 15:10).
Question: Why must I confess to a priest when I can just talk to God? (Newark, New Jersey)
Answer: Jesus told his Apostles: “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained” ( Jn 20:23). Bishops are the direct successors to the Apostles and, together with their priests, they share the same mission and sacramental powers given to the original Twelve.
However, while Jesus gave priests and bishops the authority to forgive sins, he didn’t also give them the ability to read minds. To offer sacramental absolution, it is necessary for priest-confessors to be made aware of the penitent’s sins. This typically happens through a spoken confession.
Additionally, one requirement for absolution within the sacrament of reconciliation is true sorrow for our acts and a resolve to avoid sin in the future. Confessions spoken aloud give the penitent the opportunity to express real contrition.
While we know for sure that sins are forgiven through the sacrament, God is of course free to extend his grace beyond even what he has promised. If circumstances prevent you from getting to the sacrament of reconciliation in person, you can always directly, prayerfully petition God for the forgiveness of your sins in the meantime.
Question: Why do holy days of obligation differ from year to year, diocese to diocese, and around the world? (Los Angeles)
Answer: Holy days of obligation — days when Catholics are obligated to attend Mass — are discussed in canon 1246 in the Code of Canon Law. This canon first describes Sundays as the “primordial holy day of obligation” for the entire Church throughout the world, as Sundays are the day which traditionally — from the time of the Apostles — the Church makes a special point to recall Christ’s resurrection.
Canon 1246 adds that besides Sundays, universal holy days of obligations include: “the Nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ, [Christmas] the Epiphany, the Ascension, the Body and Blood of Christ, [Corpus Christi] Holy Mary the Mother of God, her Immaculate Conception, her Assumption, Saint Joseph, Saint Peter and Saint Paul the Apostles, and All Saints.”
However, section two of this same canon tells us that, with prior approval of the Holy See in Rome, local bishops’ conferences can: “suppress some of the holy days of obligation or transfer them to a Sunday.” In other words, a bishops’ conference can make some holy days of obligation non-obligatory for the faithful in their territory, and/or move the celebration of that feast to a Sunday, when the faithful will already be attending Mass.
This is generally done for pastoral reasons. For instance, a country with a large, spread-out rural population might find it genuinely burdensome to travel to the nearest Church twice in one week.