Be at peace, even when your children leave the Church

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Question:

I am a cradle Catholic, as are my children. My concern is that, since they reached adulthood, they started going to nondenominational Christian churches instead of to a Catholic church. When they visit me, they go to Mass with me, but otherwise they don’t. They are, however, very close to Jesus and read their Bibles regularly. But I can’t help being concerned because I have always learned that not going to Mass is a mortal sin.

It breaks my heart that only one of my grandchildren was baptized in the Catholic Church. One was baptized a Lutheran, three were “dedicated” to the Lord, and one was not baptized at all until she became a teenager and chose to be baptized as a Baptist. Most of them are active Christians in adulthood, but there is not a practicing Catholic among them.

I keep wondering what I did wrong and what I can do now, yet their faith is strong and active. Are my daughters living in mortal sin because they abandoned the Catholic Church? I am so worried about this and keep praying about it. (Kailua, Hawaii)

Answer:

I, too, am saddened and disappointed that your children are no longer practicing Catholics. I believe that the Catholic Church offers the strongest and surest path to salvation — especially with the strength that comes from regularly receiving the Eucharist — and it bothers me a lot when people abandon that path.

You can be at peace and leave it to the Lord to judge the state of your children’s souls. From the circumstances you indicate, it’s doubtful that they are living in mortal sin. (Remember that for something to be seriously sinful, it demands that the person realize that it is.)

It’s much more likely that your children are sincere in their faith journey — reading the Bible, praying, attending religious services — and seeking to do what God wants.

Maybe what you might do is ask them sometime, in a quiet conversation, “Do you ever miss receiving Jesus in holy Communion?” But don’t be forceful or confrontational, lest you drive them farther away. Meanwhile, I will pray for them, too.

Question:

As I have reached old age (82), my thoughts have been on Jesus and the apostles being poor and humble. By contrast, I see priests, bishops and cardinals attired at Mass with gold-emblazoned apparel and celebrating the consecration using chalices of gold.

Yet the statuary of Christ and the saints depicts them as people of poverty. Why this obvious imbalance in celebrating our faith? (Derby, Indiana)

Answer:

I agree in substance with your observation. It’s probable that Jesus at the Last Supper used a humble clay cup in blessing the wine, and I don’t think we should stray far from that simplicity.

At the same time, though, the Church does want to highlight the “specialness” of the Eucharist. What we receive in holy Communion is the greatest gift of all, and sacred vessels denote the preciousness of the contents in a way that common and profane containers do not. The sacrifice of the Mass brings us into contact with the divine and “lifts us up” to heaven.

And so, the guidance the Church offers us on this is contained in the General Instruction of the Roman Missal, which is the Church’s “rule book” on liturgical matters.

There we read, “Sacred vessels should be made from precious metal. If they are made from metal that rusts or from a metal less precious than gold, they should generally be gilded on the inside.

“In the dioceses of the United States of America, sacred vessels may also be made from other solid materials which in the common estimation in each region are considered precious or noble, for example, ebony or other harder woods, provided that such materials are suitable for sacred use” (Nos. 328-329).

In a section on sacred furnishings, the general instruction says that “noble simplicity” should be the governing goal in matters liturgical (No. 325). As applied to vestments, this would mean that “it is fitting that the beauty and nobility of each vestment not be sought in an abundance of overlaid ornamentation, but rather in the material used and in the design” (No. 344).

I have noticed over the years a tendency toward greater simplicity in liturgical vestments, and that trend is consistent with the Church’s goal.

Question:

Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Satan is our enemy. Should we love Satan, perhaps by praying for his redemption? Is it possible that, through our prayers, Satan could repent and be reunited with God? (Woodbridge)

Answer:

There is no reason to believe that Satan would ever change his ways, and I believe it would be a waste of time to pray that he will. The Gospel of Matthew speaks of “the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels” (25:41).

The Catechism of the Catholic Church expands on this: “It is the irrevocable character of their choice, and not a defect in the infinite divine mercy, that makes the angels’ sin unforgivable” (No. 393).

That same section of the Catechism goes on to quote St. John Damascene: “There is no repentance for the angels after their fall, just as there is no repentance for men after death.”

So it seems to me that our time should be spent praying not for the salvation of Satan, but of living human beings. No matter how sinful or how far from God someone may seem, every person still on this earth can be brought into God’s eternal family through repentance for sin.

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