Pocta family’s faith is ‘home, refuge’
Cristina Pocta doesn’t want her two children, both with Spina Bifida, to be inspiring because they “push a (wheel) chair around.” She wants people to be inspired by their kindness, joy, compassion and love for everyone. Due to Spina Bifida, Maria, 9, is paralyzed from the waist down, and Andrew Joseph, 6, from the knees down.
Spina Bifida is a birth defect caused by a baby’s spinal column not closing all the way as it develops in the womb. Because it typically occurs within the first 28 days of pregnancy while the neural tube is forming, it often occurs before a woman knows she is pregnant. It can be detected through a blood test during the 16th to 18th weeks of pregnancy, with an ultrasound or a needle extraction of a small amount of fluid in the womb.
Spina Bifida might cause physical and intellectual disabilities that range from mild to severe. No one knows the cause of Spina Bifida, but “scientists believe that genetic and environmental factors act together to cause the condition,” according to the Spinal Bifida Association’s (SBA) website.
Cristina and her husband, Andrew, were raised Catholic, and they remain steadfast in their faith despite the challenges of having two children with Spina Bifida.
She said, “Our faith is who we are.” It has been their “home, a place of refuge.”
They went on separate mission trips to Honduras as young adults. Andrew spent two and a half years there from 2006 to 2008, and Cristina went on a six-month mission in 2008. However, they didn’t meet until 2010 when mutual friends introduced them in Virginia Beach.
While dating, Andrew moved to New York City, where they both worked for the Archdiocese of New York. She worked as a case manager for Catholic Charities, and he was the assistant director of the Spanish Department of the Family Life/Respect Life Office. They married in 2011.
Choosing life
When Cristina was 18 weeks pregnant with Maria, their “honeymoon baby,” the couple learned via an ultrasound that their daughter had Spina Bifida. The New York doctor painted a bleak picture, telling them that their child would be paralyzed and “mentally retarded.” He encouraged them to terminate the pregnancy, Cristina said. They were 25 years old at the time.
The doctor said they had their “whole life ahead of them,” and if they had their baby, their lives would be consumed with caring for her. He offered to refer Cristina to a hospital for an abortion and said it could be done quickly so they could move on with their lives.
Cristina said it was hard to hear the diagnosis and the doctor’s recommendation, and she reacted with “hysterical crying,” Andrew said, and he with anger at the doctor’s callousness. The couple didn’t consider abortion as an option.
When Cristina was 21 weeks pregnant, Maria underwent surgery to repair her spine at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. She and Andrew stayed in the area as Cristina was on bed rest and was monitored closely until Maria was born in 2012. Maria did not have the cognitive disability the doctor predicted.
After she was born, the family moved to Virginia Beach.
‘Lord always provides’
When Cristina conceived Andrew Joseph, they didn’t fathom having another child with Spina Bifida, Cristina said. Previous genetic testing didn’t identify anything that could cause the birth defect, and the SBA website said the likelihood of having a second child with Spina Bifida was only 3%.
When praying the morning of a routine ultrasound, Cristina said she felt “at peace” when God whispered to her heart to remember, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways” – words from Isaiah 55:8.
When the ultrasound showed that Andrew Joseph had Spina Bifida, it was again hard to hear, but abortion was out of the picture. The day after he was born, he had surgery to close the lesion on his back.
Both children have been in wheelchairs since they were about a year old. The Pocta home, a duplex shared with Cristina’s parents, is not accessible for the larger wheelchairs, but they don’t want to move because they want to care for her aging parents. Andrew said they need to expand and renovate the home, a project will cost “hundreds of thousands of dollars” – money they don’t have.
But he said he isn’t worried about it because “the Lord always provides.” Throughout the years, people, sometimes anonymous ones, have donated money, primarily for expensive, specialized wheelchairs and equipment they couldn’t afford.
‘Grateful heart’
The children have deep compassion, their parents said. They talk to homeless people on street corners and get to know them by name, and they “see Jesus in each person,” Cristina said. Sometimes the family brings the homeless people food. Sometimes they eat lunch with them. When time doesn’t permit a conversation, they say hello.
“God didn’t give them the ability to walk, but he‘s given them the ability to love in a way that I’m just in awe,” Cristina said.
Andrew works as an environmental scientist with MAP Environmental Inc. in Virginia Beach. Cristina homeschools both children, and they are waiting to adopt a third.
Maria is in fourth grade, and her favorite subject is history. Her favorite TV show is “Full House.” She likes swimming, painting with water colors, playing with Fidgets and listening to Praise and Worship songs. Most of all she likes playing with Barbies with her best friend.
She said at times God talks to her when she prays, and sometimes when she is sad during the day, she hears God’s voice telling her, “I love you, and you’re beautiful.”
Andrew Joseph is in kindergarten. His favorite food is pizza, and his favorite subjects are science, art and music. He enjoys playing video games, swimming, playing outside and zooming around ramps and popping wheelies at a skateboarding park.
Christina and Andrew described their children as “a blessing.” Maria and Andrew Joseph have shown them how to see the world differently, Andrew said. He no longer takes things such as walking, driving a car, getting on a bus and strolling in the sand for granted. Cristina said she has “a heart that is a little more grateful.”
‘Happy life’
Andrew said that because the children have had to “deal with disappointments and struggles since a really young age,” they have a “deep faith and trust in God” that is unique for children their age. Those challenges include multiple surgeries and frequent doctor appointments, emergency room visits and physical and occupational therapy.
“I think Maria, as she is getting older, her heart is starting to question more” such as why she “has been chosen to be in a wheelchair and why can’t God heal her,” Cristina said. She struggles, but she has good friends, family and a Church community “who love her, and that’s been a gift.” The family belongs to the Basilica of St. Mary of the Immaculate Conception, Norfolk.
Cristina and Andrew said the hardest part of parenting them is watching the children struggle and not being able to do anything about it, but despite the challenges that come with raising their children, Cristina said, “We live a very happy life.”
“Honestly, I can say that with all my heart,” she said. “We have a good life.”